They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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