just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
