i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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