May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
