Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
