So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
