Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
