he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
