living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
