he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But we have bathrooms and they dont
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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