I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
