I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
