Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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