no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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