have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
