I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
