just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
