A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think my moral compass just broke
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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