So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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