drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
