Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
