That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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