I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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