I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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