can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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