Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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