Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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