I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Buhtt sex?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
