I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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