smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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