I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
