your room smells of hookers.
And success
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
