Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We talked him into tasing himself.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
