This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
