You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
