Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize