so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
God, I missed his penis.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
