in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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