he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
