Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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