i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
