I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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