I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
