even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
