I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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