id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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