What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
