It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
