i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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