So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
