You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
