Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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