We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
