You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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