i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
