it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
