I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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